


Tab A into Slot B

by archaeologist_d



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Modern: No Powers, Angst, Hook-Up, M/M, Modern Era, no magic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-08
Updated: 2020-08-08
Packaged: 2021-03-06 01:01:34
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 684
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25784818
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/archaeologist_d/pseuds/archaeologist_d
Summary: Merlin should never have hooked up with the biggest pillock at Pendragon, Inc.
Relationships: Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Comments: 8
Kudos: 57





	Tab A into Slot B

The prat tied up the condom and threw it towards the bin. It missed. But the git didn’t get up and put it in, just left it lying there on the floor, a lonely example of how some men get off without any sort of sentiment attached. Just latex and discarded come. That was pretty much how the whole hookup had gone.

Merlin should have known better. He should never have let Arthur, the biggest pillock at Pendragon Inc., take him home. Shouldn’t have gone to the Christmas party to begin with. Shouldn’t have even looked at the arse. Should certainly not have let him fuck Merlin into the mattress.

But Merlin would say one thing about the git. Arthur was very, very good at fucking. He knew what buttons to push, just how to shove his cock into Merlin to get maximum satisfaction for them both, knew how to tease Merlin’s nipples until they peaked, knew just how to get Merlin to beg for more.

But it was all so perfunctory somehow. Shoving Wanker’s willy into Merlin’s aching arse, twirling it around a bit, and then slam-bam, thank you man, get out. 

Great.

It wouldn’t have been so bad if the git wasn’t preening about it. As if he thought they’d just had the best shag in all of shagdom.

“Well, Emrys, not bad. You’re a bit bony for my usual, but I’m sure I can fit you into my schedule if you need another Pendragon shag.” And then the prat smirked, like he’d just offered Merlin the crown jewels.

Merlin couldn’t help it. He laughed. “First of all, you git, the name is Merlin. Perhaps you should acquaint yourself with a person’s name before you shove your cock up their arse.” Getting up off the bed, still starkers, Merlin picked up the used condom and dropped it into the basket. Glaring at Arthur, Merlin said, “Secondly, sex is sex and I’ll give you that you are okay at it, but have you ever made love to someone or is that beyond your limited ability to understand?”

“What did you say?” Arthur was scowling, as if astonished that Merlin wasn’t at his feet begging for more. “Okay at it? Okay?! I’ll have you know that I could have anyone at the office, and I chose you. And that’s the thanks I get for it?”

“If your head were any bigger, you wouldn’t be able to fit through the door.” Merlin shook his head, then began to dress. “It’s too bad, too, because you are tragically gorgeous, but your lack of self-awareness isn’t helping. Hopefully we can both forget about this mistake by morning.”

“Wait, what? I’ll have you know that no one, _no one_ has ever complained before. What makes you think that you know better?” Arthur looked stunned as he said, “You are turning me down?”

“Making love isn’t just about sex. It’s about emotion, connection, taking care of your partner first. Caring for the other more than yourself. Can you honestly say that we made love? Or was it just sex?” Merlin was shimming into his jeans and started looking around for his shirt.

Arthur was sputtering. “We weren’t here to get married, Merlin. It was getting off, nothing more.”

“Good to know.” Merlin found his shirt, shoving it on. One of the buttons was missing but he’d replace it later. Then putting his shoes on, checking to make sure he had wallet and keys, finally shrugging into his coat, he said, “Thanks for the shag. And don’t beat yourself up too much. It was my mistake. I was looking for love and all you were offering was sex. It happens. I’ll get over it. Good night.”

Behind him, Arthur was still nattering about sex and why and he didn’t think when Merlin slammed the door, cutting off Arthur’s tirade.

Merlin hadn’t thought, either. Next time, he’d make sure to choose more wisely and find love, instead of meaningless sex. It was too bad, too. He thought there had been a spark of something more, but it was not to be.

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: Merlin characters are the property of Shine and BBC. No profit is being made, and no copyright infringement is intended.
> 
> Author's Notes: At this time, I'm not thinking of doing anything more with this one.


End file.
